Without an earth-shattering cry, but only wept with her head down, letting the tears slipped over her cheeks, washing her horror, replacing by the warmth he brought to her.
“Takatsukasa…Thank you.” Although it was a very soft voice, that indeed passed to Takatsukasa’s ears.
“ I heard that Natsu saved you.” Seeing her calmed down a little, he said.
“ Um.”
“ If the criminal was instructed by him…”
“ Um?”
“ Ah…Nothing. I’m sorry. Maybe I worry too much.” He stopped talking, put her on the bedding: “ You should sleep now.”
As if he wanted her to feel relieved, he put his hand on her eyes. At some point, she fell asleep again.
The next morning, when Jianxue opened her eyes, Takatsukasa was no longer in the room. Although this was what she expected, she still felt a little lost in her heart.
She walked out of Room of Sunflower. Inaba was standing at the door with a worried expression.
“ The meetings were all canceled. Please take a good rest today.”
“ They’re canceled?”
“ Yes, it was Master Kasuga’s instruction.”
Hearing the words, Jianxue’s eyes flashed a trace of surprise. Seemed like Mr. Kasuga was not that ruthless that she thought…
“ How about you take a bath and relax? I have already asked the bath servant to prepare the water for you.” Inaba smiled.
Bath servant… It meant Mr. Natsu…
She pondered about the unfinished words Takatsukasa said last night. Indeed, in the way of how Mr. Natsu acted, he might perform this “ the hero saved the beauty” to win the General’s heart.
But why did her heart desperately want to deny this fact?
“ Um?” The moment Jianxue stepped into the Bath Palace, Natsu closed the door, blocking her way.
“ Natsu?” Looking at him, there was no longer the charming smile on his face, replaced by the cold as same as hers.
“ Are you a substitution?” Although it was an interrogative sentence, Natsu’s tone was extremely sure.
“… You knew my answer, Mr.” Knowing her identity was debunked, Jianxue did not cover anymore. The eyes without temperature dropped the space to the freezing point, making an extreme tiff with the hot water in the back.
“ I knew it.” Natsu tutted.
“ Then, I will also ask a question.” Without the General’s momentum, she talked in her normal tone: “ The staking happened yesterday, did you plan that?”
Hearing the words, Natsu stared blankly at first, then disdained: “ Of course not.”
“ Um.” Seeing him quasi not lying, she had nothing to say and prepared to leave, but Natsu’s next words made her stop her steps.
“ I will never use that kind of idiot who doesn’t know to look forward and backward. If I want to sell favors to the General, I will do it more beautifully.” Natsu’s mouth evoked sarcasm: “ For example, knowing the officer would make the General’s tasks difficult, so I proposed an advice and took this to obtain some rewards.”
“ But talking about the results, it’s fortunate that the contest was canceled.” He continued.
“ What do you mean?” Jianxue flashed a look of doubt. Was not that contest held because of him?
“ Thanks to that idiot who kidnapped you, I was able to know your true identity. I’m sorry, I’m not interested in sharing the same bed with a woman who can’t give me any benefit.”
Jianxue was speechless, but still pretending to listen indifferently. Natsu looked at her.
“ Even if you please the substitution, you won’t get any benefits, right?”
“ So, you serve as a bath servant and make everyone think that you like Sister Iemitsu just to become the Principle Husband, right?”
“ Yes, everything is just out of necessity.” Natsu stared at her mockingly: “ There are only people who use others and those who are used. If you don’t want to be used by others, don’t believe in love.”
He suddenly put away indifference and gibe, emerging a serious look: “ Never thought that you are a substitution, although I am also a little interested in you.”
“ However, since you are not General, then I don’t have to pretend to like you.” Cold words surrounded the Bath Palace like sharp swords: “ You are so lucky of being exposed before I eat you.”
“ Then, is it my turn to speak?” Icy voice frosted all those sword-like words: “ If everything is what you just said, that the world is filled with interest swap, then I have wasted lots of time hearing your nonsense, would you reply for that right now?”
“ What… Hmm!” Natsu suddenly felt pricking on his arm. A light bloodstain appeared, and Jianxue was holding that black, blunt sword.
“ It will scab in a short time. I temporarily don’t need surplus blood.” She said coldly, matching his eyes: “ You don’t have to be surprised. If you are a slave of interest, then I’ll be the blood’s.”
Finish speaking, she immediately stepped out of Bath Palace, leaving him behind.
Natsu did not chase after. Jianxue walked alone on the unmanned gallery.
Clearly, the person who has been betrayed was the “ General,” but she felt uncomfortable inexplicably. She knew that all the things he has done were just for his good, but she never thought that she would trust him so much.
She saw the shadow of herself on him, that white devil who extorted blood mercilessly.
She never knew she could be that horrifying.
“ Stop joking me!” Takatsukasa’s rave rang in the entire lobby. However, the man kneeled in front of him only explained quietly.
“ I am responsible for supervising Master Takatsukasa’s behaviors. As being part of the top families, I only heard that Master Takatsukasa and Master Iemitsu were close in these days, and was happy that you finally have the heart to fulfill your responsibilities.”
“ I never promised to take that kind of responsibility.” Takatsukasa left breathless.
“ You were born in a family that is qualified to take over the position of the General’s Principle Husband. From the moment of your existence, you are destined to shoulder this responsibility.”
“ It is up to me to choose my own responsibility. I am not a tool!” Takatsukasa was so angry that he rushed out of the lobby, hitting the figure coming from the other side.
“ Takatsukasa?” Jianxue seemed to have not recovered from her negative thoughts, speaking in front of all the people accidentally: “ Takatsukasa, I…”
“ Do you forget our agreement?” Takatsukasa depressed his angry mood: “ Just be indifferent as you always be… why…”
He seemed to struggle about something and frowned, looking away and left.
Looking at his figure, she remembered their agreement: do not talk to each other in public.
She knew what he just said was only angry words, but that indeed stabbed into her heart.
Feeling something was pried open, that memory she desperately wanted to forget, that memory made her turning into this icy-cold.
Just be indifferent as she always be.
Yes, that was the camouflage she had all the time, that herself she even feared of.
But, she couldn’t trouble him any more, so, she would put back all of her masks.
Just put them all back…
“ Um?” Jianxue suddenly felt moist in her eyes, smiling self-deprecating: “ Stop crying… I’m just back to being alone…”
“ Iemitsu?” A call came from behind, she saw Hyuuga walking towards her.
“ It’s Brother, are you feeling better now?” She hurriedly wiping out her tears, replying with a smile.
“ Yes, I can talk outside for a long time now. I heard about what happened yesterday, so…” Hyuuga suddenly stopped speaking, staring at her in surprise: “ Are you crying?”
“… No.” She wanted to end this topic, but Hyuuga did not want to let go of her.
“ Is it because of what happened yesterday?”
“ No.”
“ No? Then why?”
“…” She couldn’t say. The person in front of her did not know she was a substitution at all: “ It’s nothing. Thank you for your concern.”
“ Don’t lie to me.” Hyuuga’s look turned into solemnity: “ You were really weird these days. You are hiding something.”
“ No, I didn’t.”
“ Master Hyuuga.” She heard Natsu’s voice coming from the other side: “ I’m very sorry. I requested to find General for urgent issues.”
“ Really? Okay.” Although he was a little hesitant, he still nodded.
“ Then Master Iemitsu, let’s go.” Natsu seemed to hasten and stepped forward.
“ Then I’ll leave.” Although she did not want to follow Natsu, staying here was not the option either.
“ Um.”
Walking silently, trying to flow her icy breath into the blood of her whole body, her eyes started ahead without emotions.
“ I wonder what the matter is.” Stepping in Natsu’s room, she said with her normal tone.
“ Um? Oh…” Seeming not using to her change of tone he paused a second, but immediately resumed back to equilibrium: “ Nothing, just seeing you being awkward, so I helped you a little.”
“…” She did not have any reaction towards his words, only staring at him indifferently.
“ Just kidding.” Without awkward ambiance, his face still had that charming smile: “ Let’s continue what we were talking about at Bath Palace. Tell me all the ins and outs of how you became the substitution.”
“…” He only received more indifference. She saw him approaching closer.
“ If you don’t talk, then I’ll rape you.” He gripped her hand, pressing her on the wall.
“ If you want me to provide information, won’t you need something corresponding in exchange?” Jianxue finally spoke. She wanted to let him know, that threats won’t do anything to “ her.”
“… You can hurt me with the sword again, or ask anything you want to know.” He put away his surprise in a flash, letting her go.
Hearing the words, she recounted what happened.
“ I see.” Natsu nodded understandably: “ The real General won’t be in the castle for at least a month. Tut, it’s too annoying.”
“ When Sister Iemitsu is back, I’ll tell her everything about you.” She said lightly.
“ Whatever, I only need to gain her trust, letting her ignore all of your words.” He raised a fearless smile. Seeming to have nothing to say with her, he sat down and started to read.
“ Mr. Natsu studies a lot, practicing swordsmanship diligently, just to get Sister Iemitsu’s love?”
“ Do you care?” He pursed his lips and smiled.
“ Now is my time for questioning.”
“ The weak can only surrender to the stronger. Ignorance would be used by others. I don’t want to end up in these two ways.”
“…” Yes, she knew the argument and also approbated deeply, but why she felt that he was not that cold-blooded as he looked?
“ Then why did you save me?” She couldn’t help but blurt out.
“ Huh?”
“ I didn’t have anything for you to use.” She continued: “ Since you found my identity as a substitution yesterday, then why…”
“ Shut up.” Natsu suddenly growled. There seemed to be something struggling in his eyes but changed back to coldness very quickly.
Although it was merely a short moment, Jianxue saw his emotion truly.
She finally realized why she trusted him so much, even after he said those cruel words, still chatted with him without fear.
Because he and she were the same, to live, using ice-cold frames to restrict their emotions, forcing themselves to be strong.
Even their hearts would become weaker, they did not have the way back already. They used sharp reasons to chain themselves, becoming the world’s slaves, persuading themselves to become merciless people.
They did not need mercy. They did not need sympathy. They only needed to let their souls sinking into dark rebellious.
“…” Jianxue gazed at him dumbly. That heretofore memory continuously mangled her heart.
“… You really make me mess up.” Natsu sighed. That look of empathy made him so uncomfortable.
“ What’s your name?” Natsu asked. Both of them went back to premier indifference and confidence as if nothing happened.
“…”
“… If you don’t talk, then I’ll…”
“ Jianxue Yang.”
“ Oh…” Natsu thought for a while: “ Hey, can a substitution appoint the Principle Husband?”
“ I don’t know. Even if I can, I don’t want to do it.”
“ Okay, Jianxue Yang, let’s make a deal.”
“ Um?”
“ If I tell everyone that you are a substitution, you will feel troublesome, right?”
“ The last one threatening me has already been to the underworld.” A trace of murderous aura came out freely: “ If you still want to continue, then prepare for your last words.”
Hearing the words, Natsu swiftly smiled: “ You are such a terrible person too.”
“ Same as you.” Finish speaking, she stepped out of the room.
That day in memory, pure white snow was polluted by blood.
“ Mom, why I am called Jianxue?” A white, little figure shook her mother’s arm.
“ Mom will tell you when you grow up.” The woman’s soft voice revealed maternal love.
“ No! Jianxue wants to know right now!” The girl pouted dissatisfied.
“ Haha, but you won’t understand if I say it right now.” The woman smiled: “ Aren’t you going to play with Jinnan and Yuancao today? Are you prepared?”
“ Um! I’m prepared!” Hearing the words, the girl swept away previous displeasure, smiling happily.
“ Then, do you remember the ‘promise’?”
“ Jianxue knows! When other people ask about home, just say I don’t know.”
“ Um, good girl.” The woman touched her head: “ Let’s go.”
“ Sister Jianxue, here!” Besides the clean creek, Yuancao Lan was waving her hand vigorously.
“ Brother Jinnan! Sister Yuancao!” Unloosing the woman’s hand, Jianxue jumped towards them.
“ Sister Jianxue, this time we will explore the upstream!” Jinnan Sa laughed. The three of them moved on.
Going deep into the forest, until they couldn’t see the adults’ figures, they played energetically at the river, until the dusk arrived.
“ Hey, Jianxue, I heard that your family has a super great treasure! Can you tell me what that is?”
“ Eh? But there is nothing special in my house.”
“ Nonono, there is. Everyone said that. Tell me!” Yuancao also joined the converse.
“ I really don’t know…”
“ Ah, I know it. Your mom told you not to say, right? My dad also told that to me often, but it is actually okay to say! Nothing will happen.”
“ No, I really…”
“ Okay okay! I promise I won’t tell anyone else. This will be the secret between us, um?” The two’s eyes flashed expected light.
“…”
“ Jianxue, it’s time to go home.” At dusk, the woman called her.
“ Bye, Sister Jianxue!” The two posed an assured gesture.
“ Um…” She only nodded, looking at the woman with a little guilt.
They walked slowly under the sunset’s afterglow. She only felt that they walked extra slowly today.
“ Mom, that, I…”
“ Um, Mom knows.” The woman gave her a gentle smile: “ It’s all on your face.”
“… I’m sorry…”
“ No need to say sorry, you did nothing wrong.” The woman whispered, showing a self-deprecating smile: “ I knew the day would come, but never thought that it would be this soon.”
“ Jianxue.” The woman squatted down, looking in her eyes: “ Remember, no matter what happened, don’t hate anyone, understand?”
Hearing the words, she nodded. Today, the woman’s anomaly made Jianxue’s heart emerged trepidation.
“ Mom will go out tonight.”
“ Um, when will you come back?”
“…”
“ Mom?”
“… Jianxue, do you want to know why you are called this name?” The woman suddenly said.
“… No, I don’t want to know anymore!” The woman’s eyes with sadness made Jianxue scared. Why… why she felt that her mother would disappear in the next second…
“ Jianxue, listen.” The woman said slowly, word by word.
That sentence became her indelible wound.
“ The surviving, pure shite snowflake within the light of swords and bloody storm.”
Boundless night flashed dazzling sword light.
“ Head Yang, you should clearly know the strength gap between us. Please stop acting.” Ice cold sword stood on woman’s neck: “ Your daughter has proved the existence of that. Show me the way.”
“ Leader Sa, I’m very sorry. You will never know.” The woman spitted out blood, falling to the ground. Her mouth floated out a poisonous smell.
“… Mom?” From the grove not far away walking out a little child. Tears made blood all over the floor even more shining. It was her… who led to her mother’s death…
“ Not bad, at least there is a naughty child.” The man turned to her: “ Jianxue Yang, come here!”
“… Did you kill Mom?” She walked towards the man, lifting up her head. Her eyes had no more previous teardrop, replacing with cold murderous aura yielded from forlornness, making the man couldn’t help but recoiling a few steps.
That white figure was a demon from Hell, treading bells named death.
No one would believe those emotionless eyes were from a ten-year-old girl!
“ W-wait! She suicided, I did nothing! D-don’t come…” Perhaps, even the man himself did not understand why he was so scared of a little girl.
Unconsciously, she already came to him, stabbing into his heart with a sword.
“… Dad!” Jinnan Sa, who came hurriedly, looked at the scene shocked, then looked at her full of hatred: “ You… Jianxue Yang!”
“…” She only carried the woman’s corpse difficultly, dragging her steps and walked towards the home.
There was nothing that would last forever. Those would eventually be contaminated by blood, just like their shattered friendship.
“ Jianxue Yang! I WILL KILL YOU!”
Couldn’t sleep all night, she did not even know how many flowers she put on the woman. In gorgeous sea o flowers, she stood up like a lost child.
“ Do you know why you are called this name?”
“ The surviving, pure white snowflake within the light of swords and bloody storm.”
She wiped dry her tears, picked up the sword without emotion.
She was pure white, the merciless snow in cold winter.
“ That’s…” Back to Edo Castle right now, Takatsukasa stopped his steps, looking at Jianxue’s figure, who was going back to her room.
Although it was only a moment, he saw the tears on the corner of her eyes.
His heart suddenly throbbed hard.
“ Oh, it’s Young Master Takatsukasa.” Ogata walked over: “ Why are you standing here?”
“ This… nothing.” Looking at Jianxue’s direction, that figure was no longer there, he pointed at the medicine in Ogata’s hand: “ This is for her?”
“ Yes.” Ogata showed a worried look: “ As a doctor, I really hope that she doesn’t constrain herself like this…”
“ Um? What?”
“ Yesterday, she ordered to kill that criminal personally.” Ogata explained: “ Although I can roughly know that she wanted to numb her emotion, it is still making me worried…”
“…”
“ But, since she could survive for such a long time being alone, there must be nothing to worry about. I must give her this medicine right now.” Restoring that mysterious smile, Ogata left.
Takatsukasa pondered, lowering his head, then whispered with a self-blaming tone: “ What am I doing…”
Jianxue was back to Room of Sunflower, drinking Ogata’s medicine, then started to count the number of poison needles.
She refused Natsu’s transaction. Although her strength was not recovered yet, she still needed to prepare for escape.
“ I’m coming in.” Just as she hid her weapons, Takatsukasa walked into the room.
“ What’s the matter?” She posed General’s posture and the cold emancipated because of memories.
The two fell into a short silence.
He clearly told her not to talk to him.
But why he came to her again?
“… I’m sorry.” He broke the quietude.
“ That just happened yesterday, you should feel uneasy, but I only cared about myself and being mean to you. I’m sorry.” He pondered about apologetic words: “ And, I asked you to agree to my demand, but I kept meddling.”
“ No… It was me that needs to apologize.” Hearing the words, her face emerged a shallow smile: “ I clearly know your plight in Ooku, but always letting you worry. But I will be more careful and not being a burden.”
So, just let them keep this distance, letting her disperse as snow in early spring.
Although her face was smiling, her eyes were wreathed by indifference, making his heart seized into a ball. He knew she was just pretending.
“… Not a burden.” He squatted down slightly, facing her: “ You are not a burden at all, so don’t pretend to be brave. You can rely on me.”
His sincere fondness shook her heart. Devilishly scorching warmth made her wanted to cry but also endured stubbornly. Upon seeing her, he smiled and touched her head.
“ Why are you being so nice to me…” She spoke as she couldn’t bear it.
“ Why…” He stared blankly as if he just realized it after she pointed out: “ I…”
“ General, excuse me.” The door suddenly opened. Jianxue quickly looked at the person.
“ I didn’t expect that Young Master Takatsukasa is also here. It is rare.” Kasuga evoked a sneer.
“… Yeah, he likes to annoy people recently.” She scoffed in Iemitsu’s tone.
“ Tut.” He said displeased, leaving the room.
“… I should have already told you to rest today.” Kasuga said.
“ I’m sorry.” Hearing Kasuga’s words, she finally realized it was lunchtime already.
Kasuga only sighed: “ Even if you don’t want to, I suggest you take a good rest.”
“ Um?”
“ There is a special task for you tomorrow.”
[To Be Continued]
Jianxue Yang
